Monday, February 27, 2012

reflection

Recently, the Lord has worked numbers over on me to purge and cleanse...and forgive, and be healed, and to let go. This is difficult. It is amazing what a powerful hold one's soul negative emotions can have. They take on a life of their own.

So, for many months, I have worked to erase a debt I have held against someone for decades. I know not if this soul is now in Heaven or Hell. I can reckon to where he might have passed onto and now resides, but this pure speculation on my part. One day, I shall know. Now, it shall pass. But, for wherever this man's soul resides now and for eternity, he is released from the debt I held to him. His actions and my debt against him cursed me for years and affected many of my reactions to life's events. It is a journey to release something.

It is a willful action to let go. It is a willful action to let go each day. Letting go and forgiving are separate actions from healing one's emotions. I think many get these intertwined, but healing yourself emotionally takes much time.

And, just when I think I am pass one hurdle, I find I have yet another to conquer. An example, is seeing a lost, now found, relative that I would love to have a relationship or friendship with...but the vision of him is a constant reminder of the one I work through forgiving daily and healing from. The Lord is ever at work in me. The Holy Spirit is ever vigilant in remaining steadfast at my side as my Intercessor.

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