reflection

Recently, the Lord has worked numbers over on me to purge and cleanse...and forgive, and be healed, and to let go. This is difficult. It is amazing what a powerful hold one's soul negative emotions can have. They take on a life of their own.

So, for many months, I have worked to erase a debt I have held against someone for decades. I know not if this soul is now in Heaven or Hell. I can reckon to where he might have passed onto and now resides, but this pure speculation on my part. One day, I shall know. Now, it shall pass. But, for wherever this man's soul resides now and for eternity, he is released from the debt I held to him. His actions and my debt against him cursed me for years and affected many of my reactions to life's events. It is a journey to release something.

It is a willful action to let go. It is a willful action to let go each day. Letting go and forgiving are separate actions from healing one's emotions. I think many get these intertwined, but healing yourself emotionally takes much time.

And, just when I think I am pass one hurdle, I find I have yet another to conquer. An example, is seeing a lost, now found, relative that I would love to have a relationship or friendship with...but the vision of him is a constant reminder of the one I work through forgiving daily and healing from. The Lord is ever at work in me. The Holy Spirit is ever vigilant in remaining steadfast at my side as my Intercessor.