Friday, June 24, 2011

where do you go??

lately my child will mention something he wants to do or a place he wants to go that we have been before...this would not be an issue...if those places were here where we live. the other day he wanted to go to the mall and see the 'puppy store', but not play with the bull dog puppies, because they are a bit too rough. i mentioned that there was no puppy store at the mall. he reminded me of how we went there all the time. and suddenly, i knew what he was talking about.

a year ago we lived somewhere else...another state to be exact...and now we are back where we have always lived...

the puppy store is in one of the main entrances to one of the malls of the city we lived in. he often will ask now that the weather is getting warmer if we can go to the beach for the day and watch the fire performers again, get an ice-cream cone, and walk the boardwalk to see what the vendors have brought out. he wants to know if we can make a day drive to go snorkeling about the reef. he wants to go see the dolphin with no tail at the aquarium. but, we cannot go...b/c those things don't exist here. they are there.

we moved to put him in private school...to offer him a better education...in a less secular learning environment...he received it. i loved the school - awesome place...

but, we couldn't sell our house and we could not afford to stay. and while we were there, we desperately missed home. now that i am home, i desperately miss there.

we have often said...while we were there and while we are here now, if could move the town of home here to a place with the school of there, we would have had it all...when we first moved there, i severely missed my friends, support of them, etc. i missed my mom and dad. i missed my church here. oh, how i missed my church family. i missed people who spoke like me - the southern dialect...funny how you miss things you would never think of...i missed people who smiled at you to be nice. i missed men who acted like gentlemen and took their hats off when you entered a room and who held doors open. i missed yes ma'am and no sir. i missed seeing Christ in the everyday acts of people around me. i missed home.

when i was there, i felt alone often. i did not have many friends. i felt like the church was dry. i longed for my church family. i wanted to have the types of friends i had here, who were supportive, who you could just come over to their house unannounced for no reason and they would not mind. i had friends. i had people i did things with. i did not have home.

now we are back home. life continued as it did before...great church, great family, great friends...i don't miss the church there. but, i miss parts of life that i never knew i missed. i remember thinking when i was there that i could never miss a place like i missed home. strangely, now i miss there in ways i never missed home.

the people who i did the most with there really do not keep in touch with me now that we are gone. even when i message them, there is not much of a response...and i wonder.

one person there was always dreadfully honest about all things...she still is...she still keeps in touch...she still says what she thinks...she has invited us to her home with an open invite should we ever show up on her doorstep...i don't know if she remembers...i don't know if she meant it as a real invite, but i remember the gesture. that did not come from other friends we had there, nor from the family we have there. does this one person realize the impact of just a few of her written words on fb?

strangely enough, there was one person there who i never would have thought could be such a good friend. since we have left there to come home, i have realized that this one lady has more in common with me than i would have ever recognized and i find myself thinking i could confide in her and she would understand. i had to leave to find a friend i feel i could really trust. why was this not revealed when we were there? funny how things happen like that.

i have another friend there who was crazy fun...she still is in touch...she still looks like she leads a lively life...she has found love and it looks to really suit her. she deserves this.

and so now, we sit here...we love home. we miss there. and what we miss does not come down to the people, they were not there like that when we were there. we miss the school. oh, how we miss the school. but there is a new principal, the school that was is no more. we cannot get that back. we homeschool now anyway, so we would not need that back...

now i understand why there are 'snowbirds' who live in both locales...maybe we need to be snowbirds...i wish i could afford this home here and some something there to have both. i want to take my child to the puppy store or say in two or three months when we are there...we will go to the puppy store. we will see the fire performers and the boardwalk and get an ice-cream. and, i can visit friends i did not know i had that God provided...

how nice it would be to have both...selah!!

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